Talk:Psychologist/@comment-25274362-20140806234712
Wow this is bad. Like really bad. Riddled with clichés. Several times I actually laughed out loud. When the narrator screams "YOU DESTROYED SO MANY MEMORIES OF MINE!" I kept picturing Tommy Wiseau in The Room. YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, STEPHEN! Since I have nothing better to do let's breaking down a few of the glaring goofs from my first read: -Narrator is almost immediately unlikeable. Yeah, good idea, start the story with the protagonist bragging about how smart he is. Then, have him make a series of pants-on-head-retarded decisions such as (but not limited to): Trying to break down a door with his shoulder, throwing his friends corpse (kinda looks suspicious, right?), NOT calling the police after finding his friends maggot infested body for NO discernable reason, and stealing a massive amount of evidence from the crime scene. All of this for no reason that is articulated to the reader. -Why is there a random paragraph about how the narrator never gets sick? That had absolutely nothing to do with anything, it was never reincorporated. -Why is the narrator disturbed by Stephen's comment about not cutting in line? Stephen essentially just said "we don't cut in front of people in line because society has conditioned us to". Yeah no shit. Dumbass. What do you mean you "should have told someone"? That's not even close to a red flag. I've heard far more disturbing conversations than that in the past week. -No one in the neighborhood reported the disappearance of Stephen and his family? Obviously they didn't move if they left the fucking car. No one heard the gunshot either? Okay... -The description of the dilapidated house was stupid. Why was the carpet torn? Is that what happens when a house is left unnatended? The carpet starts to shread itself? Did stephen grab a pair of scissors and cut his carpet or some shit? I feel like you're not really trying hard to picture an abandoned house. Not to mention, why the hell is there still electricity in the house? The security cameras and television are ON? Who's been paying the electricity bills for the past 6 fucking years?? -Apparently his family survived for 2 and a half years on exclusively "bread and water". Just off the top of my head, scurvy alone should have killed them off long before that. You can't make it a whole year without any essential aminos acids, vitamins and minerals. Bread and water... Jesus. Not to mention the narrator specifically mentions there is no toilet in the room. Shouldn't the room have several feet of piss and shit by now? Is Stephen periodically cleaning the room? Did mom ever try to attack him when he cleaned it? -I guess 911 doesn't exist in this universe, because as far as I can read the narrator, both his parents and all 3 of his roommates never even considered contacting the authorities about the 4 dead people. -Every hamfisted attempt by the writer to describe the narrators feelings is laughable. The house gave you a 'gut wrenching' feeling? Really? Just being in the house was 'gut wrenching'? Isn't that a phrase better suited for a sudden discovery of something horrible? Maybe like finding Stephen's body. When he watches the last tape the narrator apparently puts his face 'within his palms' and 'sobs frantically'. Is it just me or is 'frantically' a shit word to use to describe someone kneeling and crying alone. 4/10, my eyes hurt from reading this drivel.